We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
