So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
