The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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