Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
