loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they're like a gay fantastic four
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
