ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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