So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
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Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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