If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
