Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
