i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
