So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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