You smell like stripper and shame
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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