everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
