Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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