I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Text me some of your sweat
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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