Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
