she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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