so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
