I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize