the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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