He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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