I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
