just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
