Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
