lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
