ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
