I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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