my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize