From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize