I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
