if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize