Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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