How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize