I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just had sex on a roof
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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