How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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