And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
