it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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