remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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