I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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