I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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