I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
