marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
