So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
PANTIES FOUND
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
