i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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