No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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