Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
