She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize