R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
