alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
