It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
