On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
