You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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