I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
