I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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