Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
