Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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