he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
