I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
