Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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