first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
