As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
